6 Hour Team · Meet the team

They still tell the one about the demon hunter who leapt blindfolded into a pack without checking what was in it, cleared the lot, and landed facing entirely the wrong way. They tell it because he did it again the following week, and the week after that, and is fully expected to do it again this Sunday. The healers no longer flinch. They have simply built the evening around him. He has never seen it coming, and has never yet been wrong.

Presses buttons, produces numbers, blames the healers. The circle of raiding.

Personal raid record for this tier reads 7/9 M, which they will happily talk you through.

Career highlight: 66 percentile on Lightblinded Vanguard, brought up at every opportunity.

46 parses deep on 14 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

+12 Altar of Fangs and a 615 Mythic+ score, in case the raid logs were not enough.

Politely requests we skip Imperator Averzian, where the logs read 18 and the memories read worse.

Has 7 Mythic bosses in Tier Mn 1 to their name, and the receipts to prove it.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

34 raids in and still answering the invite before the whisper finishes sending.

70 percentile on average, achieved with the calm of someone who has read the log first.

54 parses deep on 16 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Vaelgor & Ezzorak is where it clicks: 94 percentile, achieved once, referenced forever.

40 raid nights across 4 tiers, dating back to Aberrus, the Shadowed Crucible. Nobody has told them they can leave.

Has, on record, a 97 parse on Fallen-King Salhadaar (VS / DR / MQD, Mythic). The rest is just consistency.

BEAST MASTERY HUNTER (Orc). Range: everywhere, for years, without interruption. Habitat: the same spot on every fight, very slightly to the left. Diet: whatever the pet does not want. Distinguishing feature: quietly outranks most of the people who assume he is just some bloke with a bow. Behaviour when threatened: sends the pet. Behaviour when the guild is threatened: also sends the pet, then fixes whatever went wrong without mentioning it. Migration: none recorded, and none expected.

Professional wall. Takes the enormous hits so a mage can stand still and criticise the positioning.

Mythic+ score of 2268, topping out at a +10 Temple of Sethraliss that is still discussed.

Has 7 Mythic bosses in Tier Mn 1 to their name, and the receipts to prove it.

Has been turning up since Manaforge Omega: 4 tiers and 43 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

67 parses deep on 22 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Whatever Crown of the Cosmos does, it does it to them first: 22 percentile and a lot of excuses.

Their best night is Chimaerus, the Undreamt God at 51, and they can tell you exactly what they pressed.

Mousaios once held the raid together through an entire phase with a mace, a lantern and what he later described as 'a strong feeling'. Four tiers on, the troll still opens every night the same way: he checks everyone's health, decides it is fine, and then quietly moves three feet to the left where he can see them all.

AVAILABLE: one haranir druid. Will bring starlight to your raid and a lantern to your problem, whatever the problem is, without being asked twice. Happy on either team, happy on any boss, visibly happier when somebody else gets the loot. Does not roll on things, which the loot has noticed and taken personally. Enquiries after nine in the evening server time; before that she is asleep and will not be moved.

Interviewer: There is a paladin on the roster with your name on it. — Pawnstaar: There is. — Interviewer: People say that is where all your good gear went. — Pawnstaar: People are being generous. He is wearing what I found in a bin two expansions ago and he has never been invited to anything. — Interviewer: So the mage is the main. — Pawnstaar: The mage is the one who owns trousers.

Reports of the frost mage's death were filed early again. He stands further back than anybody has ever thought necessary, on the entirely reasonable grounds that nothing can reach him there, and is therefore killed roughly once a tier by the one thing that can. He is survived by an ice block he did not press in time, by several people who told him so at some length, and by himself, on the very next pull, standing further back.

Fully committed to the damage meter, and only loosely committed to the mechanics around it.

A steady 42 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Shows up to 83% of raids, which is more reliable than most raid timers.

All-time peak: 74 on Forgeweaver Araz back in Manaforge Omega, Mythic. They have not stopped chasing it since.

Has been turning up since Manaforge Omega: 3 tiers and 92 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

50 logged kills across 15 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

Career highlight: 62 percentile on Vaelgor & Ezzorak, brought up at every opportunity.

Keeps 2 alts on standby (Renstormmagi, Rénstorm), one of which is definitely better geared than the main.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

Fallen-King Salhadaar is where it clicks: 61 percentile, achieved once, referenced forever.

The logs hold 44 of their kills on 17 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Shows up to 81% of raids, which is more reliable than most raid timers.

Every guild has one boss they cannot parse on. Theirs is Chimaerus, the Undreamt God, at a stately 28.

Averages 42, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

Has been turning up since Nerub-ar Palace: 5 tiers and 61 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

Spends the fight watching twenty health bars and one very specific person who stands in things.

Attends 75% of the time: regular enough to be a fixture, rare enough to keep an air of mystery.

Every guild has one boss they cannot parse on. Theirs is Belo'ren, Child of Al'ar, at a stately 6.

Career best is still Soulbinder Naazindhri at 81 percentile (Manaforge Omega, Mythic). Every tier since has been a rebuilding year.

A steady 48 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Has been turning up since Manaforge Omega: 3 tiers and 64 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

126 logged kills across 17 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

Spends the fight watching twenty health bars and one very specific person who stands in things.

Attends 72% of the time: regular enough to be a fixture, rare enough to keep an air of mystery.

Career best is still Loom'ithar at 81 percentile (Manaforge Omega, Mythic). Every tier since has been a rebuilding year.

Has been turning up since Nerub-ar Palace: 5 tiers and 105 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

Peaked at 50 on Imperator Averzian, a screenshot that still exists somewhere.

142 parses deep on 17 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

A 34 average parse and a flawless record of being alive to complain about it.

HOLY PALADIN SEEKS PLACEMENT. Eight tiers, eighty-nine nights, one beacon, permanently on the wrong person for the first four seconds and the right one thereafter. Comes with a second character called Mickevoker, sold as seen. Will heal your raid. Will not heal the warrior who keeps doing that.

INCIDENT: Sunday, pull six. 1. Subject arrived four minutes after the invite went out. 2. Subject apologised, at length, unprompted, twice. 3. Subject was then the last one standing for eleven seconds of a fight nobody had expected to survive at all, surrounded by his own ghouls, doing his level best. FINDING: the lateness and the eleven seconds appear to be unrelated. RECOMMENDATION: keep inviting him. Send the invite earlier.

WANTED, A BOSS: large, ideally stationary. Highmountain warrior, thirty-one nights, one axe, no questions. Will hit it until the situation resolves. Does not require the fight explained, though he will sit through the explanation out of politeness. Antlers included at no extra cost. Cannot be reasoned with once committed.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

Averages 56, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

The armory carries 4/9 Mythic in Tier Mn 1, across 2 raids of history.

Peaked at 74 on Lightblinded Vanguard, a screenshot that still exists somewhere.

Whatever Belo'ren, Child of Al'ar does, it does it to them first: 45 percentile and a lot of excuses.

94 raid nights across 6 tiers, dating back to Aberrus, the Shadowed Crucible. Nobody has told them they can leave.

Present for 20 raids, absent for exactly the ones with the loot they wanted.

Keeps 3 alts on standby (Atrexy, Atrexyen, Atrexyie), one of which is definitely better geared than the main.

ELEMENTAL SHAMAN (Orc). Range: six tiers, a hundred and thirty-six nights, always the same three feet of floor. Feeding: lightning, mostly. Notable behaviour: does not chase keys, does not chase parses, does not chase anything — the boss comes to him, or it does not, and either way he is signed up for Wednesday.

Take one dark iron monk, aged eight tiers. Add mist, generously and continuously. Do not stir; he will circulate on his own. Season with a hundred and sixty-one nights of knowing exactly when the damage lands. Rest briefly between pulls. The dish improves the longer it has been in the guild, which is the whole trick of it.

The dwarf has fallen, shield first, exactly as he would have wanted. Twenty-eight nights across three tiers, every one of them spent between the raid and something considerably larger. Mourners are asked not to loot him, as he is only briefly dead and will want his hammer back.

Presses buttons, produces numbers, blames the healers. The circle of raiding.

Has been turning up since Aberrus, the Shadowed Crucible: 6 tiers and 110 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

A steady 51 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Turns up for 17 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Peaked at 70 on Vaelgor & Ezzorak, a screenshot that still exists somewhere.

Has an ongoing disagreement with Belo'ren, Child of Al'ar, who is winning.

The logs hold 61 of their kills on 16 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Nobody can find a record of recruiting her. The trial invite went out and she was somehow already inside, imp out, standing on the mark, waiting. Two weeks in and no one has seen her sign up late, or early, or at all, and the damage has been immaculate throughout. The officers have her down as new. Not one of them looks confident saying it out loud.

Believes deeply that most deaths are preventable, and can name exactly whose fault each one was.

Has no parses on record, which they insist is a deliberate lifestyle choice.

Has 5 Mythic bosses in Tier Mn 1 to their name, and the receipts to prove it.

Their high-water mark is a 19 on Rotmire (Sporefall, Mythic), and it comes up whenever the meter does.

5/9 M on the armory, every boss of it earned on a Wednesday night.

+12 Voidscar Arena and a 1390 Mythic+ score, in case the raid logs were not enough.

Turns up for 14 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Would do more damage if they didn't keep having to move, as they will explain at length.

Second tier with us, 17 nights in, and has learned exactly which mechanics we ignore.

The logs hold 6 of their kills on 6 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Their high-water mark is a 40 on Lightblinded Vanguard (VS / DR / MQD, Mythic), and it comes up whenever the meter does.

Has no parses on record, which they insist is a deliberate lifestyle choice.

A 39% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

78 raid nights across 3 tiers, dating back to Liberation of Undermine. Nobody has told them they can leave.

111 parses deep on 16 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Turns up for 11 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Career best is still Plexus Sentinel at 86 percentile (Manaforge Omega, Mythic). Every tier since has been a rebuilding year.

Averages 38, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

Their best night is Lightblinded Vanguard at 64, and they can tell you exactly what they pressed.

Would do more damage if they didn't keep having to move, as they will explain at length.

Turns up for 11 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Second tier with us, 14 nights in, and has learned exactly which mechanics we ignore.

Has no parses on record, which they insist is a deliberate lifestyle choice.

All-time peak: 31 on Crown of the Cosmos back in VS / DR / MQD, Mythic. They have not stopped chasing it since.

Scattered appearances across seven tiers, tending towards brief but heavy. Twenty-eight nights recorded. When present, expect sustained storm activity and a shield in the wrong hand. Absence should not be read as a front moving out; she has a habit of arriving precisely when the forecast is worst.

Fully committed to the damage meter, and only loosely committed to the mechanics around it.

Second tier with us, 11 nights in, and has learned exactly which mechanics we ignore.

A steady 47 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Turns up for 10 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Their best night is Fallen-King Salhadaar at 60, and they can tell you exactly what they pressed.

The logs hold 26 of their kills on 15 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Exists to make a number go up, and to make sure everybody hears about the number.

The logs hold 41 of their kills on 13 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Averages 40, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

Second tier with us, 12 nights in, and has learned exactly which mechanics we ignore.

Career highlight: 61 percentile on Lightblinded Vanguard, brought up at every opportunity.

Turns up for 9 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Politely requests we skip Imperator Averzian, where the logs read 23 and the memories read worse.

Turns up, hits the boss, dies to something avoidable, links the meter anyway.

76 percentile on average, achieved with the calm of someone who has read the log first.

Turns up for 8 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

28 parses deep on 21 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Every guild has one boss they cannot parse on. Theirs is Vaelgor & Ezzorak, at a stately 19.

Career highlight: 100 percentile on Vorasius, brought up at every opportunity.

Has been turning up since Manaforge Omega: 3 tiers and 10 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

Professional wall. Takes the enormous hits so a mage can stand still and criticise the positioning.

A 19% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Career best is still Fractillus at 70 percentile (Manaforge Omega, Mythic). Every tier since has been a rebuilding year.

The logs hold 87 of their kills on 15 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Their best night is Belo'ren, Child of Al'ar at 45, and they can tell you exactly what they pressed.

29 nights over two tiers since Manaforge Omega: officially past the trial and into the resentment.

A 32 average parse and a flawless record of being alive to complain about it.

The reason the pull lasted long enough for anyone to complain about their damage.

Sits at a 72 average parse: quietly good, which is somehow more irritating than loud and good.

Career highlight: 84 percentile on Chimaerus, the Undreamt God, brought up at every opportunity.

A 17% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

24 logged kills across 15 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

All-time peak: 96 on Fallen-King Salhadaar back in VS / DR / MQD, Heroic. They have not stopped chasing it since.

Second tier with us, 7 nights in, and has learned exactly which mechanics we ignore.

Job description: be hit by the largest thing in the room, on purpose, repeatedly, without comment.

Averages 56, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

The logs hold 14 of their kills on 7 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Every guild has one boss they cannot parse on. Theirs is Chimaerus, the Undreamt God, at a stately 46.

Owns exactly one 65 parse, on Lightblinded Vanguard, and has built a personality around it.

12 raid nights across 3 tiers, dating back to Liberation of Undermine. Nobody has told them they can leave.

A 17% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Would do more damage if they didn't keep having to move, as they will explain at length.

The logs hold 13 of their kills on 12 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Whatever Lightblinded Vanguard does, it does it to them first: 33 percentile and a lot of excuses.

Mythic+ score of 1990, topping out at a +15 The Blinding Vale that is still discussed.

Vaelgor & Ezzorak is where it clicks: 62 percentile, achieved once, referenced forever.

Turns up for 4 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

4 raids on the armory, the pick of them 1/1 Mythic in Sporefall.

Subtlety Rogue. Duties: appearing behind the boss. Appearing behind the raid leader. Appearing in Discord ten seconds after the pull has already gone out to ask whether there is an invite going. Notable achievement: nobody in this guild has ever seen him walk anywhere, arrive at anything on foot, or still be standing where he was a moment ago. References available, though none of them are entirely sure where he went.

Turns up, hits the boss, dies to something avoidable, links the meter anyway.

Has been turning up since Aberrus, the Shadowed Crucible: 4 tiers and 7 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

Averages 56, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

8 parses deep on 6 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Fallen-King Salhadaar is where it clicks: 74 percentile, achieved once, referenced forever.

Has, on record, a 80 parse on Fallen-King Salhadaar (VS / DR / MQD, Mythic). The rest is just consistency.

A 8% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Turns up, hits the boss, dies to something avoidable, links the meter anyway.

Turns up for 3 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Once put up a 83 on Crown of the Cosmos. The guild has heard about it. Twice.

Whatever Belo'ren, Child of Al'ar does, it does it to them first: 30 percentile and a lot of excuses.

A steady 48 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Would do more damage if they didn't keep having to move, as they will explain at length.

All-time peak: 50 on Chimaerus, the Undreamt God back in VS / DR / MQD, Heroic. They have not stopped chasing it since.

Peaked at 42 on Vaelgor & Ezzorak, a screenshot that still exists somewhere.

A 8% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

The logs hold 11 of their kills on 6 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

Every guild has one boss they cannot parse on. Theirs is Lightblinded Vanguard, at a stately 16.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Turns up, hits the boss, dies to something avoidable, links the meter anyway.

The logs hold 21 of their kills on 10 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

189 raid nights across 6 tiers, dating back to Aberrus, the Shadowed Crucible. Nobody has told them they can leave.

Vorasius is the reason they do not link their own logs unprompted.

Once put up a 41 on Imperator Averzian. The guild has heard about it. Twice.

A 26 average parse and a flawless record of being alive to complain about it.

A 8% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Keeps 5 alts on standby (Abbed, Abedassa, Abedd, Abedsvision, Abeed), one of which is definitely better geared than the main.

Fully committed to the damage meter, and only loosely committed to the mechanics around it.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Has, on record, a 8 parse on Chimaerus, the Undreamt God (VS / DR / MQD, Mythic). The rest is just consistency.

Has no parses on record, which they insist is a deliberate lifestyle choice.

5 logged kills across 3 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

Turns up for 3 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Fully committed to the damage meter, and only loosely committed to the mechanics around it.

The logs hold 12 of their kills on 12 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

A 6% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Career best is still Nek'zali the Soulcoiler at 91 percentile (The Venomous Abyss, Heroic). Every tier since has been a rebuilding year.

Sits at a 68 average parse: quietly good, which is somehow more irritating than loud and good.

Their best night is Imperator Averzian at 88, and they can tell you exactly what they pressed.

Second tier with us, 4 nights in, and has learned exactly which mechanics we ignore.

Spends the fight watching twenty health bars and one very specific person who stands in things.

Their best night is Vorasius at 62, and they can tell you exactly what they pressed.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Turns up for 2 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

62 percentile on average, achieved with the calm of someone who has read the log first.

Holy Priest — seven tiers, one hundred and seventy-eight nights, four guild rosters, no gaps. Duties: healing; also remembering what happened in Aberrus, which nobody else can. Key achievement: outlasted every raid leader she has ever had. Reason for leaving previous tier: it ended.

The reason the pull lasted long enough for anyone to complain about their damage.

Owns exactly one 66 parse, on Chimaerus, the Undreamt God, and has built a personality around it.

8 parses deep on 6 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

8 nights over two tiers since Liberation of Undermine: officially past the trial and into the resentment.

A steady 47 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Turns up for 2 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Would do more damage if they didn't keep having to move, as they will explain at length.

Averages 44, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

Whatever Fallen-King Salhadaar does, it does it to them first: 23 percentile and a lot of excuses.

A 6% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

4 nights over two tiers since Manaforge Omega: officially past the trial and into the resentment.

The logs hold 17 of their kills on 11 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

All-time peak: 69 on Forgeweaver Araz back in Manaforge Omega, Mythic. They have not stopped chasing it since.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

New enough to still be enthusiastic, 5 raid nights in.

Chimaerus, the Undreamt God remains the nemesis, and the logs are not kind about it.

12 parses deep on 7 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

A steady 42 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Peaked at 48 on Vorasius, a screenshot that still exists somewhere.

Turns up for 2 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Exists to make a number go up, and to make sure everybody hears about the number.

21 logged kills across 15 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

Their best night is Vorasius at 41, and they can tell you exactly what they pressed.

Has, on record, a 49 parse on Soulbinder Naazindhri (Manaforge Omega, Mythic). The rest is just consistency.

11 raid nights across 5 tiers, dating back to Nerub-ar Palace. Nobody has told them they can leave.

Turns up for 2 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

A steady 41 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

The first one in and, on a good night, the last one alive to say so.

Has been turning up since Amirdrassil, the Dream's Hope: 5 tiers and 54 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

2377 Mythic+ score and a +12 Altar of Fangs best, achieved with only mild shouting.

Career best is still Nymrissa Wavecaller at 27 percentile (The Venomous Abyss, Heroic). Every tier since has been a rebuilding year.

Turns up for 2 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Has no parses on record, which they insist is a deliberate lifestyle choice.

Carries a 4/9 H on the armory, and has opinions about every one of those bosses.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

Has no parses on record, which they insist is a deliberate lifestyle choice.

A 6% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Career best is still Plexus Sentinel at 80 percentile (Manaforge Omega, Heroic). Every tier since has been a rebuilding year.

41 raid nights across 6 tiers, dating back to Aberrus, the Shadowed Crucible. Nobody has told them they can leave.

8 logged kills across 8 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

Beast mastery hunter who stands in melee. The pet waits at range where the hunter should be, the hunter is in the middle of the pack where the pet should be, and after six tiers this is simply how it is done here. Six tiers ago she pulled a boss early by accident and the raid killed it anyway. She has been chasing that feeling from two yards ever since and she is not stopping.

Fully committed to the damage meter, and only loosely committed to the mechanics around it.

Mythic+ score of 2734, topping out at a +12 Ruby Life Pools that is still discussed.

Has been turning up since Nerub-ar Palace: 6 tiers and 87 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

Carries a 9/9 M on the armory, and has opinions about every one of those bosses.

Turns up for 1 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Career highlight: 71 percentile on Imperator Averzian, brought up at every opportunity.

65 percentile on average, achieved with the calm of someone who has read the log first.

Keeps 5 alts on standby (Gingerclaw, Gingerdemon, Gingerrogue, Gingertyrant, Gingér), one of which is definitely better geared than the main.

Fully committed to the damage meter, and only loosely committed to the mechanics around it.

Has been turning up since Manaforge Omega: 3 tiers and 25 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

Career highlight: 67 percentile on Imperator Averzian, brought up at every opportunity.

51 parses deep on 17 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Turns up for 1 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

63 percentile on average, achieved with the calm of someone who has read the log first.

All-time peak: 95 on Dimensius, the All-Devouring back in Manaforge Omega, Mythic. They have not stopped chasing it since.

Turns up, hits the boss, dies to something avoidable, links the meter anyway.

17 parses deep on 13 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

24 raid nights across 5 tiers, dating back to Aberrus, the Shadowed Crucible. Nobody has told them they can leave.

Every guild has one boss they cannot parse on. Theirs is Vaelgor & Ezzorak, at a stately 52.

A 3% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Chimaerus, the Undreamt God is where it clicks: 77 percentile, achieved once, referenced forever.

Sits at a 62 average parse: quietly good, which is somehow more irritating than loud and good.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

Has been turning up since Aberrus, the Shadowed Crucible: 6 tiers and 32 raid nights of accumulated grievance.

Sits at a 61 average parse: quietly good, which is somehow more irritating than loud and good.

Owns exactly one 74 parse, on Lightblinded Vanguard, and has built a personality around it.

26 logged kills across 14 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

Politely requests we skip Imperator Averzian, where the logs read 56 and the memories read worse.

Their high-water mark is a 100 on Vaelgor & Ezzorak (VS / DR / MQD, Heroic), and it comes up whenever the meter does.

Would do more damage if they didn't keep having to move, as they will explain at length.

Vorasius is where it clicks: 56 percentile, achieved once, referenced forever.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

A 3% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Averages 55, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

Quietly undoes everyone else's mistakes and has never once been thanked in a timely fashion.

The logs hold 10 of their kills on 6 bosses. There is nowhere to hide.

A 3% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Averages 53, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

Career highlight: 75 percentile on Chimaerus, the Undreamt God, brought up at every opportunity.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

Career highlight: 72 percentile on Vaelgor & Ezzorak, brought up at every opportunity.

Averages 51, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

5 parses deep on 5 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Whatever Vorasius does, it does it to them first: 8 percentile and a lot of excuses.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

A 3% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Turns up, hits the boss, dies to something avoidable, links the meter anyway.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Averages 49, and has never once let a good parse get in the way of doing a mechanic.

Once put up a 61 on Imperator Averzian. The guild has heard about it. Twice.

6 logged kills across 6 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

A 3% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Fully committed to the damage meter, and only loosely committed to the mechanics around it.

5 parses deep on 5 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Has an ongoing disagreement with Lightblinded Vanguard, who is winning.

A 3% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Once put up a 52 on Imperator Averzian. The guild has heard about it. Twice.

A steady 45 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Contributes damage, opinions about damage, and a running commentary on everyone else's damage.

Once put up a 54 on Imperator Averzian. The guild has heard about it. Twice.

10 parses deep on 6 bosses, which is either dedication or a lack of alternatives.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

A steady 39 percentile. Not the biggest number on the meter, still standing at the end of it.

Turns up for 1 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

Exists to make a number go up, and to make sure everybody hears about the number.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Averages 23 and measures success in survival rather than percentiles. Frankly, fair.

A 3% attendance rare spawn. Sightings are usually on progression night, never on farm.

Career highlight: 23 percentile on Vorasius, brought up at every opportunity.

Holds the boss still. Gets thanked for it roughly once a tier, usually by accident.

Peaked at 19 on Vorasius, a screenshot that still exists somewhere.

Carries a 7/9 H on the armory, and has opinions about every one of those bosses.

8 logged kills across 8 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

Second tier with us, 4 nights in, and has learned exactly which mechanics we ignore.

Runs keys properly: 3459 score, best a +17 in Den of Nalorakk.

Averages 19 and measures success in survival rather than percentiles. Frankly, fair.

Exists to make a number go up, and to make sure everybody hears about the number.

Every guild has one boss they cannot parse on. Theirs is Lightblinded Vanguard, at a stately 3.

6 logged kills across 6 different bosses, every one of them a matter of public record.

Freshly arrived, and has not yet learned what we are like on a Wednesday.

Turns up for 1 raids a tier, all of them somehow the important ones.

A 17 average parse and a flawless record of being alive to complain about it.

Fallen-King Salhadaar is where it clicks: 23 percentile, achieved once, referenced forever.

In the age of the world-tree there stood a tauren who drank deeply before every pull, and the elders said this was unwise, and the tauren said it was a brewmaster thing. Three tiers he has held the line this way. The elders have stopped commenting. The keg is now considered part of the strategy.